Um

Mar. 11th, 2006 02:05 am
soulstar: (Oh. Crap.)
Was my last-but-one entry really tasteless and offensive?  If so: sorry.  (Although, if I can't make sick jokes about what happened, who can?  Not that I usually do.  Oh well.  Probably still not appropriate.)  Y'all are reading it, going "O.o" and running away very fast, aren't you?  Ooops.

... I typed "y'all".  Definitely time for bed.
soulstar: (Ohhhhhh)
While scrolling down my entries page (and discovering that wow, I really haven't posted much in the last year), I saw that the post I made about Dad having died was using my default icon.  Cos it was a phone-post.  My current default is really a bit too cheery looking for that post, so I decided to change it.  I looked at my icons, and was overcome with the nearly irresistable urge to use this one instead:
He's dead... that's quite serious

That shouldn't have been as tempting as it was.  I am bad.  But I did resist, and used something more serious and appropriate instead.  My sense of humour wants to go too far, sometimes....

In other Dad-related news, we've finally got news that dates have been set for the inquest, and for the trial of the person who knocked him down.  The inquest is in April (only a few days before Mum's birthday - hmm), and the trial will be in June.  Mum is glad that we know when it will be, and that it will be done and over with relatively soon*.  I think I feel pretty much the same.  I spose I'll know for sure when it comes to it.

Also, I'm going to be taking possession of the hand-made chessboard that Dad used to use - it's a big solid wood square with the chess / draughts layout on one side, and Dad used it to play cards on as well.  It's a very "Dad" thing to me - when I was growing up, he'd always have it on his lap in the evenings, either playing solitare, or we'd play whist or whatever.  So, yes.  Memory board. :-)


* That is, soon from now. Obviously it's not soon from the perspective of when the accident happened. It's 9 and 11½ months respectively from then.
soulstar: (Ashes to Ashes)
Dad didn't make it. Will post more later.
soulstar: (Alone)
Came home here last night to try to get a decent sleep. Which I did, so that's good. Just spoke to Mum on the phone: Dad is still holding his own, which considering that they originally thought he wouldn't last til yesterday morning, is a good thing. Sort of. Still doesn't mean there's any hope of him recovering. Just that he's being his usual stubborn self.

Telling people is the worst, I think, or having to talk to them about it over again. In person or on the phone, that is. Typing it out like this is kind of helping. My brother has done most of the telling, but even so, meeting my aunts and cousins up at the hospital has been seriously emotional. The other cousins who haven't turned out yet are just too far away, though Ray might be bringing my aunt Mary down from Blackpool today. Dad's other two sisters were there as soon as they could be yesterday, and my eldest cousin, Malcolm, drove straight down from Norfolk. His Dad, my uncle Ted, has altzeimers, so there's no point telling him.

On the plus (you know what I mean) side, Ally was brilliant yesterday, and kept me company all day long, after feeding the Xandermog in the morning and bringing me the daft stuff I'd forgotten the night before, like my toothbrush, etc. And huge hugs to [livejournal.com profile] tamaranth, [livejournal.com profile] angelchildr, and [livejournal.com profile] julieva for chatting to, and distracting, me on AIM last night. As for all you guys who've left a comment on the last post, or dropped me a line via text or email, I really really appreciate it more than you know. THANK YOU!

And now I really should get myself going: Dad will be having more tests about now, and after that we might know if a "decision" can be made. I haven't asked what the either/or of that decision is, but I understand that surgery might be a faintly possible option now, whereas it wasn't before. But again, his chances or survival / recovery are minuscule. I don't want to hope and then be dashed down again, but it's difficult not to. Well, I guess I'll see how it goes.. nothing else to be done, really!

*hugs flist (and anyone else passing by)*
soulstar: (Alone)
You know, I was kind of expecting to find myself up at the hospital at some point soon, because two of my friends are due to give birth any day now. And actually, for all I know, they might be giving birth about now - today is "the" date for one, if I remember rightly. But I've been at the hospital all evening for a different reason. A really fucking awful one. My Dad was hit while crossing a road late this afternoon. And he's not going to make it. So I'm home right now, collecting some stuff, and then I'll be back up to the hospital to wait it out. My Dad. Gone, just like that. Except not quite gone yet... I'm not sure how long this waiting process is going to be. He had "catastrophic" head trauma, to quote the consultant, so there really is no hope. And yet they still have him hooked up to machines to keep him going til the morning at least. At which point they'll be doing some more tests. I don't want him to die. But, if there's no chance, if it can only get worse for him, why are we dragging it out? Spose the only thing I can do is get back up there and ask someone. Not sure when I'll be back online again. TTFN.

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