Poppa

[soulstar]

Well.  Mum rang me a little while ago to let me know that Poppa (her dad, our grandad) died this morning.  He was 93, and he'd been in hospital for the last week or two (and in and out before that) because he hadn't really been eating or drinking.  He was on a drip, and had actually seemed to be improving: he'd had some of a cup of tea of his own violition, and stuff.  I think it was better that he went when he was doing fairly well, and not in pain or distressed, or anything.  It was pretty much a matter of his body suddenly catching up with his mind: he had Alzheimer's and in the last few months had regressed to the point where he'd tried to go to school (in the freezing rain and sleet, wearing his pyjamas and slippers), before he went into the care home. 

He'd actually lived by himself until six months ago, and not done himself any damage by some miracle!  He was extremely fit and healthly right up until a few weeks ago, and even when in the hospital, he was healthy except for the problems caused by his not eating or drinking.  Which wasn't because he was trying to starve himself or anything - he just didn't feel hungry or thirsty, so didn't see why he *should* eat or drink when he didn't feel like it.  He was pretty damn stubborn, too. *g*

I don't know quite how to feel now, you know.  Because of various circumstances, we didn't see him more than a few times a year when we were little, so I guess I wasn't as close to him as I would have been if we'd been more local.  I'm sad and upset, of course, but on the other hand, he hasn't been himself for some time, except for brief minutes here and there.  I wish I was a bit nearer Hastings, cos it's obviously going to be hitting Mum harder - he was her Dad, and they were pretty close when she was younger as well: he was a fireman (in the Blitz during WW2) which meant that he worked various shifts, while my grandmum worked more of a 9 - 5 job, I think.  So Poppa was often the one who did her tea when she got in from school, and all that.  He was brilliant with his hands, from everything to fixing fire engines, to making furniture, to cooking (before his memory went).

This is so strange.  I think in a way I've already partly grieved, since it's not exactly unexpected.  This feels more like the final full stop at the end of a book that you knew only had a couple of pages to go.  And wow, wasn't that a sucktastic analogy?  Please pretend it was a better and more profound one.

I wanted to put up a pic here of us all at Christmas a few years ago, but I couldn't find it.  So here's one just of Poppa:



Poppa with me when I was an ickle baby.  1975, I expect.


Poppa with me when I was maybe about two or three.  At our house.  Huh, maybe it was '77, what with the flags.... when was the silver jubilee?


This is a cartoon that appeared in the local paper, of the Dagenham Firemen.  Poppa is on the far right with the extra-big schnoz *g*.  I think it was from the late 40's, or 50's - I'm sure someone could figure it out from the uniforms.  Don't *think* it was during the war.  Should ask Mum really, shouldn't I, since she was the one who scanned and restored it.  Maybe not the best time right now, though. :-/  Still, Poppa was dead chuffed with it (hence why he kept it), and always amused by his caricature, as he did indeed have a bit of a big nose *g*.
Belatedly ETA: Just realised there's a date in the upper left corner. D'oh!! And having peered at the larger version I have here, it looks like 1949, though the last digit isn't clear. So I was sort of right, then *g*

Comments

[ptyx.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, honey. I can't say I know how you feel, because we never know. I mean, I know how horrible it is to lose a person you love, but I don't know how it is to lose a parent in these circumstances. I lost my genetic father three years ago, but I had never lived with him, so I can't say I miss him. Anyway, *hugs*.

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, sweetie. It's all kind of weird, what with the person that 'my grandad' was, being gone for a while through the Alzheimer's (horrible disease). Perhaps it hasn't quite sunk in yet, I dunno. *faffs* Thanks again for the hugs.

[angelchildr.livejournal.com]

*wraps you in hugs*

If you need to talk, I'll be around.

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you, honey. *huggles you back*
I'm actually off to the doctor in a mo, and I'm working tonight, so that should keep me busy, which will probably be a good thing. Hopefully see you online at some point, though - perhaps when I get back from work.

[angelchildr.livejournal.com]

*nods* Staying busy will probably help, but don't forget to take some time for yourself.

If I'm not around, just email or comment. I'll reply as soon as I can.

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

I'll have plenty of time to myself, I'm sure. Not like there's anyone else here ;-)

And will do - thank you, sweetie. I really appreciate that. *HUGS*

[django24.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear of your loss

(((HUGS)))

Although I guess it's always good to have such great memories to cherish. And all your real friends are here for you now.

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* Thank you, hon. I appreciate that, lots.

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

You have my condolences. *hug*

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[kittynic]

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help?

*huge hugs*

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

Thank you, hon. *hugs* Might get back to you about that! :-)

[kittynic]

I'm here if/when needed. *hug*

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sanda56.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing the pictures, they're priceless.

*hugs*

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

*raises eyebrow* Are you making fun of the baby!Lou? ;-)

[sanda56.livejournal.com]

Are you making fun of the baby!

Of course not! Baby Lou was lovely baby.

Not quite as cute as little Issy - but nearly! ;0)

[astaria51.livejournal.com]

*big big hugs*
Wow, all my good words have disappeared....just, I'm here, if you need to talk, or anything.
*big hugs* I'm so sorry.

~faye~

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*huuugs* Thank you, hon. I appreciate that very much.

[anamchara.livejournal.com]

Lou, hon, I'm sorry. ::hugs you tight:: I know what it's like to lose your grandfather and, even if you weren't as close as you might've been, it's still your Poppa (I called my grandfather Papa, too).

::Hugs you again::

I wish I could do or say something to help, but I know it just needs getting through. But I still wish I could hug you in person. Love you!

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs* Helped a lot to chat to you the other night, sweetie. Thank you! :-)

[brallaqueen.livejournal.com]

Bless you my daerest. This is the last thing you need.
*sends her love and sympahty*
BQ

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, sweetie.

[ispahan.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry.

*hugs*

[soulstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you.

[ex-squashy880.livejournal.com]

I'm commenting here because i've just recently (as in the past hour) had a phone-call from *my* mum to say that my Nanna has died, under similar circumstances. I'm not ready to post in my journal yet, but i remembered your post.

Nanna had developed Alzheimers over the past couple of years, following on from a couple of fairly minor strokes.

She'd been living in a residential home for only the past six weeks, and was getting used to it, when she had another stroke and was hospitalised last Thursday.

I knew it was bad, but when i saw her yesterday she seemed to have improved. I honestly thought she was getting better.

And then she took a turn for the worse this morning.

I don't know what else to say. I am sorry for both our losses. :(

[deathbyviolin.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Lou. I'm here for you. -big hugs-

~Anji